Roller Coaster Riding and Facing Your Fears.

It has been a little while since my last post, but I have been busy (when you have a Radical puppy, life can get pretty busy!). However, I absolutely needed to take some time out of my week to write about a recent experience that I wanted to share with you all.

Weekend before last, I had the wonderful (and unfortunately rare) opportunity to enter the ISC classes with my Zoom. I honestly did not know what to expect from the experience. I did not know what was going to happen at all as Zoom and I have a lot to work on. I was excited though, because after years of wishing and working for this- I finally was getting closer to the goals I one day want to achieve.

There was one thing though, that I did not think of upon entering. I will get back with you on this subject in just a minute...

First class was ISC Standard. I walked it with the intention of giving it a good run for its money and to see what we needed to work on. We had a clean run and won that class. It was not a perfect run, and I could see many things that need improvement, but wait WHAT? We could get a bye?! Oh gee, now the tables have turned and here comes in the one thing I did not think of: fear.

Fear of what would happen if we failed.

Not fear of the course, not fear of competing against others. Just fear of failing.

Fear of failure is what more than likely made me choke on that Jumpers round. I did not handle 2 to 3 much at all, and our chance slipped away quicker than a blink. I felt horrible, I had totally failed my dog, and I had failed me and my expectations of myself.

However, life did go on. That failure was actually not the end of the world. I learned a huge lesson that I may need to learn a few more times. I did need the opportunity to be down about it though. That is where I learned a second valuable lesson.
There are times others (and/or yourself and myself) NEED that time to get over something, or NEED that time to be extremely happy where they are acting like a complete fool. Let them be what they need to be!!! I was so grateful that people let me have a little bit of alone time with Zoom and let me get the overwhelming rush of failure out of my system so I could get over it. Do not judge because someone looks upset or sad, or overly happy even.

This life in every single way can be the most extreme roller coaster, and sometimes we are not prepared for such a huge change. Lessons are great, advice is great, but sometimes getting a hard luck award is even greater.

Do not be scared of failure- sometimes you can learn such invaluable lessons from it.

So I went from on top of the world, to feeling like a jerk for ruining a big chance for myself- but I came out alive, and I came out wiser. How bad is that really?

All You Need is a Little Radical in Your Life...

Life has been crazy lately! It has been trying its darndest to get me down.

I have one secret weapon. And it is Rad!

Introducing my newest member of my "pack" (because 4 is enough to be called that): On Target's Against The Grain... "Radical" or AKA Rad.

So many awesome things about this puppy.... so many things that made it meant to be.

An earlier blog talked about trust. I do have a hard time trusting, and when presented an opportunity- it usually takes me time to warm up to it. I have been looking for a puppy for a while. I wanted to start bringing up another one when the timing was right. I waited for a while, around 19 months or so. I was on several different lists, nothing worked out. I trusted that when it was meant to be, it would be meant to be. When the last litter I was on list for did not work out again, I started struggling personally with being accepting of the fact as I really wanted that ONE to work.

It didn't. Life went on.

It took someone to help me see that. Thank you Lisa, thank you for believing in me, and being patient. Thank you for knowing all along, what the right one and time was. I had to see it. Against the Grain is a name that is very dear to me and Lisa, and it fits everything and fits this puppy so well. Like a puzzle just coming together.

It took me a while to warm up to the thought of going for another litter. That is pretty normal about me. It took me a while to decide to get on the litter than ended up producing Zoom. I am cautious to the point that it is too cautious sometimes. In my own time, I come around. Very glad I did- more puzzle pieces.

Fast forward to a day that in the past has never been that great: My birthday. My puppy was born on my birthday. One special boy presented himself to me right before I went to sleep. I finally had the coolest birthday ever. Next year, when I turn 30, my puppy will be turning 1. We will be celebrating new phases in life. My 30's, which I did not see as being unmarried and in my position, but now I get to look forward to turning 30, because then is the time to start doing more training to get Rad ready for agility. That is a lot to look forward to. That puppy is going to make 30 turning not so bad now. How cool is that?

So on Tuesday, July 1, I am flying to Las Vegas to have a small vacation with a great friend who I have not seen in way too long (so excited to see you Megan!!!) and to pick up my Rad puppy!

Sometimes, life can give you a Radical turn of events and make things you were dreading to become things you look forward to. So here's to the next year and wow turning 30 is going to be fun!
Sometimes, all you have to do is see.

Oh the places we will go, little Rad puppy!

In the Moment

Have you ever just realized, smack dab in the middle of something amazing, that you were "in the moment?"

Last night that happened, in the most glorious way.

I was working with Zoom, we were doing short courses and really looking at our contacts. The A-frame has been really a weak point in our Standard class times, and it is costing us course time. I am looking into going back to a running frame again by the way.

As of now, I have really been trying to get any sort of speed over the frame. Our last sequence we were completing happened to end up in a much more speedy frame behavior. Amongst all the people that were watching, I acted like a total fool. This in itself is hard for me as, believe it or not, I am so shy and scared of doing anything in front of anyone. It did not matter, it was me and Zoom, and in that moment I felt it. I was in the moment that I was striving for. I felt the drive, I felt a success between he and I, and nothing could take that away. We both seized the moment without looking back.

I erupted in a complete ludicrous celebration that was not very quiet. It was fun. It was in the moment when that one thing mattered and it was great. The moment is awesome.

I hope every trainer at some point, feels the in the moment when it is not in a competition. It is so much more wholesome and real.

The high of a great session, running my dog who loves me, and being able to enjoy something so much was amazing.

It makes me wanting to have students again, to push others to do their best, to see them succeed, to help them when they don't, and to be more nervous than they are at their first show. Most of all, I want to see them in the moment.

I want to train more, I want to bring out the best in me and all the dogs I work with. I want to help others do the same.

What are stories of your in the moment times?

Let's Troubleshoot those Challenges!

Troubleshooting is a major part of my job... unfortunately I have to work for a living and can not do the things I would rather be doing. However, I have learned time and time again that there is something valuable in all aspects of life- Troubleshooting. Now to apply it to agility.

I think everyone does this to some degree, but how in depth do you go? Are there certain challenges that you keep pushing away from them due to what could be many reasons?

I have some.

I have yet to have a dog finish an AKC Masters course in under 40 seconds (yes it is ridiculous). It has become almost this number that taunts me. So instead of making excuses of why me nor my dog can make it under 40 seconds- I am looking at what may be causing this problem. I have to overshape weaves, I can not leave him in weaves, and slower contacts- these are my main problems. Everything else is more than likely fine tuning. I have been looking at these problems in ways to tackle them, or troubleshoot. What can get seconds shaved off of certain obstacle performances? I am researching and coming up with plans before I go train so I have a purpose and can guide my dog through a training session with confidence. So rather than admit defeat, continue to do what you are doing, or just say you can not do it- why not go for it or actually work at it? What is the worst that could happen?

So instead of saying no I can not do front crosses because I can not run fast enough to be ahead of my dog. Why not start trying? Practice is practice for a reason! You do not have to be perfect in practice, you do not have to win practice. A practice is for you and your dog...so here is the time to make all those mistakes (because trust me there will be many more in the ring itself)!! Both you and your dog, then you can laugh about it later!

The more you do and try, the more you know what works best.

When working with previous students, I always have said that it is best to have "many tools in your tool bag." How many do you have? What would you like to add to your own "bag of tricks"? I myself have started teaching more rear crosses to my dogs- I can not stand rear crosses and I would avoid training them- now instead of avoiding them- I am tackling them! I may not use them often, but I know that I can if I need to.

If you train by yourself, you may find that you avoid things that you are uncomfortable trying or that is not what you feel like trying to overcome at that time.

The time is now. What are your challenges or areas that trouble you? What could you do to fix them? So let's continue to be motivated and go out of that comfort zone, and to see what we can do to achieve those small goals- whether it be better start lines or that 39.5 sec Masters Standard run. =) Happy training!

Trust, Motivation, and Beating the Odds.

Recently, I have learned a lot about trust. I second guess myself a lot. A LOT. In fact, it is not a huge secret that, yes, I am my own worst enemy. I am my biggest critic. Is that ideal? Probably not.

More than likely, I will always be hard on myself at times (for instance, I am still kicking myself as my dog stopped early on his dogwalk contact for the 3rd day in a row this last weekend, and I released him before correcting it after doing so well the whole weekend and not allowing it- I blame YOU adrenaline!)

Trust is hard. Trust is scary. Putting trust in others, for lack of better terms, scares the beejeebus out of me. Being burned never feels good, and you tend to remember the pain and outcome over anything else. A very, very good friend who has been patient with me had a long talk with me about trust. I let things go and let trust build. Sometimes putting faith in the unknown has wonderful surprises.....

A puppy. A puppy born on my birthday. When does that happen to the person who has all the bad luck? Possibly putting trust in a situation changed it. Maybe it will not work all the time, but it worked THAT time. Maybe trusting others and life is not so bad afterall. More on puppy later in future posts... Promise!

Motivation. That can also be a toughy. Laziness creeps in, and consumes. I pretty much have been training alone for a long time. It can be lonely and also makes you unmotivated to drive somewhere to go set up things by yourself. I can not get any better if I do not motivate myself. Seeing others have successes and do well in this sport called agility makes me want to get there and be next to them seeing what it is like. Maybe this may be the next thing I tackle. The more I am motivated, the more chances I have to become who I want to be.

So here we come to this crossroads of beating the odds. I look at the past couple years of my life, and realize that I have already beaten a lot of odds.

So maybe being a halfway competitive team with my current dog is not so out of reach like it feels? Maybe seeing the good parts about living in the Houston area may come more easily if I allow it? Maybe motivation will be there- maybe I just need to push that little bit more. Who knows? It may involve more crashes and burns, but maybe, just maybe- it will give more surprises if I learn to let those walls down and TRUST, stay MOTIVATED, and BEAT THE ODDS. =)

With that being said, I have lots to work on, but did forget of what I have already accomplished. Maybe remembering the accomplishments, even if very small, may help you keep moving forward towards your next goal.

- K