Weekend before last, I had the wonderful (and unfortunately rare) opportunity to enter the ISC classes with my Zoom. I honestly did not know what to expect from the experience. I did not know what was going to happen at all as Zoom and I have a lot to work on. I was excited though, because after years of wishing and working for this- I finally was getting closer to the goals I one day want to achieve.
There was one thing though, that I did not think of upon entering. I will get back with you on this subject in just a minute...
First class was ISC Standard. I walked it with the intention of giving it a good run for its money and to see what we needed to work on. We had a clean run and won that class. It was not a perfect run, and I could see many things that need improvement, but wait WHAT? We could get a bye?! Oh gee, now the tables have turned and here comes in the one thing I did not think of: fear.
Fear of what would happen if we failed.
Not fear of the course, not fear of competing against others. Just fear of failing.
Fear of failure is what more than likely made me choke on that Jumpers round. I did not handle 2 to 3 much at all, and our chance slipped away quicker than a blink. I felt horrible, I had totally failed my dog, and I had failed me and my expectations of myself.
However, life did go on. That failure was actually not the end of the world. I learned a huge lesson that I may need to learn a few more times. I did need the opportunity to be down about it though. That is where I learned a second valuable lesson.
There are times others (and/or yourself and myself) NEED that time to get over something, or NEED that time to be extremely happy where they are acting like a complete fool. Let them be what they need to be!!! I was so grateful that people let me have a little bit of alone time with Zoom and let me get the overwhelming rush of failure out of my system so I could get over it. Do not judge because someone looks upset or sad, or overly happy even.
This life in every single way can be the most extreme roller coaster, and sometimes we are not prepared for such a huge change. Lessons are great, advice is great, but sometimes getting a hard luck award is even greater.
Do not be scared of failure- sometimes you can learn such invaluable lessons from it.
So I went from on top of the world, to feeling like a jerk for ruining a big chance for myself- but I came out alive, and I came out wiser. How bad is that really?
